


One Secondhand Spaceship

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-11
Updated: 2003-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Answer to the Literary Challenge set forth by the lovely Isilya. My challenge was 'what's the strangest use you can find for a secondhand spaceship?' Suffice to say, I growled at the challenge a lot before finally writing the fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Secondhand Spaceship

## One Secondhand Spaceship

by philtre

<http://members.rogers.com/philtre>

* * *

Disclaimer: Heck. I don't even want to claim ownership of _this_ fic. Lol. No, seriously. I don't own anything here. Why do you sound surprised? ;) 

Thank you: to moss, who tore this baby apart like a good little beta. Seriously, babe, I adore you!! 

* * *

"Clark?" 

Lex made his way down the rotting stairs. "Clark?" 

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he made out the shifting shadows before him. "Clark? Are you in the cellar?" 

"Lex!" A familiar, tall figure shot to attention from behind shining metal. "Hi. What are you.... doing here?" 

"What did you just kick under your ship?" 

A guilty look flashed over Clark's face before he grinned brightly to try to cover it up. "Nothing." 

"You do realize that I'm just going to walk over there and look under the ship, right?" 

Clark circled the ship quickly, smile still firmly plastered on his face. "Why would you do that when you can be, uhm, _kissing me_?" 

Lex gasped in surprise as Clark grabbed him roughly into his arms and pressed his lips hard against Lex's. He pulled back and eyed Clark warily. "Not that I don't appreciate your enthusiasm, but now I'm even more curious." 

He tried squirming out of Clark's iron-strong arms. "Let me go, Clark." 

"No! Uh." Clark looked adorable when he was thinking really hard. "You... look so handsome today, Lex." 

He frowned at Clark. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as... bad as you think it is." 

"You are _so_ hot, Lex." Clark rubbed up against him, in what Lex was very sure was supposed to be alluring. Actually, it kind of was. And he was definitely coming back to that. Once he figured out what Clark had been up to. 

"Step aside." 

"No?" A slightly hopeful look graced Clark's beautiful face. "So, uh, why are you here?" 

"My dad decided that a cockatiel would be _soothing_ to his nerves. The creature won't stop screaming. It's driving me insane. I swear he does these things just to --" He frowned. "Stop distracting me." Jerking his head at Clark, he growled, "Move it." 

Clark sighed in resignation as he let Lex brush past him. Bending down slightly, Lex looked under the ship in utter confusion. There was nothing there except an orange ping-pong ball. He reached out and picked up the ball. "Do I want to know?" 

"No?" There was that charming hopefulness again. 

What could Clark have possibly been doing with a ping-pong ball? And the more interesting question - why was he embarrassed about it? Lex's gaze flickered alternatively between the ball and Clark. Who was shifting nervously with a supposingly innocent look on his face. 

"You know, we _really_ should not be standing around in a dusty cellar." Clark turned quickly and started walking towards the stairs. 

"Clark... I have to know." His curiosity was definitely his weakness. 

Clark stopped and turned back to him slowly, a pained expression on his face. "Okay. Promise you won't think that I'm a freak. Well, more than I already am." 

"I'm slightly worried, and strangely enough, slightly aroused by the _possibilities_ of what you might have been doing. But okay." He stared expectantly at Clark. 

"Pete did this thing where he placed the ball on top of the ship and it rolled down and stayed on the ledge and I was just trying to figure out how he did it." 

Lex paused as he digested what Clark just told him. He didn't think that he'd ever heard Clark talk so fast. "O... kay." 

He studied the ball, then the slope of the ship's side, mentally mapping a path. Looking back up, he found Clark holding his breath. "And did you figured it out, Clark?" 

Clark walked over to him, sighing in exasperation. "No. Do you want to try?" 

Lex placed the ball gingerly on the top of the ship, then let it go. Both men watched as the ball rolled down the side, bounced off the ledge and hopped across the cement floor. 

"Huh." 

* * *

_An hour later_

"Clark? Lex? Is everything okay?" 

Two figures stood up quickly behind the ship. Jonathan gave them a quick-once over. _Well, at least they are dressed_. "Do I want to know what you two were up to?" 

"Uh. Nothing, dad. What's up?" 

Jonathan frowned at his son. That cheery brightness never meant something good. And Lex looked guilty. He gave them his most admonishing look. " _Boys_." 

Lex looked down, studying the floor as if it was the most interesting thing since Baywatch. His son, on the other hand, was finding the ceiling fascinating. 

" _Boys_." Jonathan tapped his feet, one eyebrow raised. 

Finally, Clark broke and blurted out what they were doing. Jonathan tilted his head at the ship, then held out his hand. "Let me see that." 

He balanced the ball on the ship, then let it roll down the side. All three sets of eyes followed the ball, which did _not_ land on the ledge. Jonathan lifted one perturbed eyebrow. Then with a determined purse of his lips, he picked up the ball, placing it on top of the ship again. 

Clark shrugged his shoulders. "I'm telling you. I don't know how he did it." 

* * *

_Another hour later_

"Guys!!" 

Martha looked around in confusion. She hadn't seen Jonathan or Clark for the longest time. Well, with Clark that was understandable since Lex had dropped by the kitchen earlier. But Jonathan had said that he would go make sure they weren't getting into any mischief -- more than an hour ago. 

She placed the tea towel in her hand on the counter and popped her head out of the back door. 

"Jonathan!? Clark?!" Only the sound of mooing cows in the distance. "Lex?!" 

With a slight frown, she walked out, circling the house calling their names. Finally, she saw the open cellar doors. _They are probably trying to open the ship again_. She made her way down the stairs. 

"Guys?" 

All three men shot to their feet. With a very... guilty look on their faces. "What's going on?" 

"Nothing." She had never heard three people answer in such synchrony. 

Sending her husband a withering look, she placed her hands on her hips. "Jonathan?" 

Her husband looked away before quickly putting his arms on the shoulders of the boys on either side of him. "You know, just... hanging out with the boys. Lex was telling us about..." He turned to Lex, a desperate plea for help flashing in his eyes. 

Lex gaped back at him, then smiled nervously at Martha. "Uh. I was telling Clark and Jonathan about... my dad's new cockatiel." 

"Oh. Has Lulu stopped screaming yet?" The bird had been screeching continuously ever since Lionel bought it. 

"God. No! It's driving me insane." 

Martha gave him an apologetic smile. "Well, you know, it's good for your father to have some company." 

"He has tons of companies," Clark piped. 

She rolled her eyes at her son. "You know what I mean, Clark." 

Clark grinned mischievously at her. He was such a beautiful boy. "But that doesn't explain why you're all down here in this dank cellar." And besides, she didn't really buy Lex's cover-up. 

Again, all three men averted their eyes. 

"I'm standing here until someone tells me what the three of you are doing down here." 

Complete silence. 

" _Well?_ " 

Finally, Jonathan relented and told her about the ping-pong ball and the ship. She stared at them in utter disbelief. Then with a shake of her head and a scoff, she turned around and made her way up the stairs. 

"You're all _insane_!" 

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later_

She could not believe they were still down there. Leaning down into the cellar, she yelled, "All three of you! Come on out or you're not getting any strawberry rhubarb pie!" 

* * *

_Ten minutes later_

Martha rolled her eyes as she folded laundry to excited conversation from the kitchen. 

"I think that you need to get the angle just right." 

"Maybe he caught a draft." 

"Are you sure you saw him doing it, Clark?" 

Finally, after another ten minutes of heated conjecturing, she heard a chair pushed back and her son groaning in complete exasperation. 

"That's it! I'm calling Pete." 

* * *

_Two A.M._

Martha stirred. Something was wrong. She turned to poke her husband, except that his side of the bed was empty. _Oh God! They aren't still in the cellar, are they?!_

She slipped out of bed and put on her robe. With bleary eyes, she made her way down the stairs and out towards the cellar. She shook her head as she saw light spilling out of the cellar. 

Loud conversation greeted her as she neared the cellar. She walked down and stared at the four men intently trying to balance a ping-pong ball. 

"Guys. It's _two_ a.m." 

Four sets of tired eyes looked up at her. 

"We nearly got it that one time, mom." 

She sighed sleepily. "You two - bed now. You two - home. I'm _not_ joking." 

They stared blankly at her for a long moment before Jonathan clapped a hand on Clark's back. "She's right, boys. That's enough for tonight." 

She left the cellar, trusting that they would follow behind her. Another sigh left her lips as she heard her husband whispering conspiratorially to the boys. 

"We'll try this again tomorrow." 

_Boys_. 


End file.
